My script for Castlevania!

Not trying to be rude, but you should really work on your English a bit more before attempting bigger writing projects.

Looks interesting, I hope it turns out better than the average videogame movie.

Thank you for all your responts. I was so suprised that so many interested in it.

To Nyahaha>>
Was it THIS bad? I am so sorry, because I don't even know where did I wrote wrong. Can you tell me where I got it wrong, I will correct it immidiately.

To XombieMike>>
I listened to that, it was pretty interesting. I may use it in my other stories.

To goldstorm07>>
I will try my best

To Galamoth>>
That is a great idea! But with these may characters, the story may go little rush. Can we do this in two different scripts? Just like Castlevania III and Curse of Darkness?



Act 4: Vampire Killer
(Party ended and Simon went home. His parents await him by the dining table.)
Simon’s Mother: Simon! Congratulation for you! Did you have fun?
Simon: Sure do! That was a lot of fun in the party.
Simon’s Mother: I am happy to hear that. We saw you gave the rosary to the winemaker’s daughter. Do you fancy her?
Simon: I guess so. She is very cute. Is this OK?
(Simon’s Mother looked back to Simon’s Father. Simon’s Father responded with a smile.)
Simon’s Father: Hundreds of OKs. She is a nice girl. We both are happy for you.
(Simon quietly showed his relief.)
Simon’s Father: Simon, this is the great day of your Coming-of-Age. However, our coming-of-age is different from others.
Simon: You mean the vampire hunting stories?
Simon’s Father: No story. Those are truth history.
Simon: But that was 500 years ago!
Simon’s Father: No, it happened only 100 years ago.
(Simo shock into speechless)
Simon’s Father: And my grandfather was the one who fulfilled that duty.
Simon: What…
(Simon’s Father stood up and came in front of Simon. He then took a whip off his belt and hand it to Simon. Simon received the whip with both hands.)
Simon’s Father: This is the Holy Whip that pressed down from our ancestor. As its name “Vampire Killer”, it is the nature enemy of all creatures of the night. I was so lucky that I never get to use this whip. I hope the same fortune goes to you.
(Simon carefully put the whip on his belt; swear that he would use the whip with honor. However, he could not help to think about what the Priest told him about he has to “walk a difficult path”.)

 
Act 5: Creatures of the Night
(In the middle of the night, Simon and his parents were asleep. A loud bell ring woke the whole family.)
Mother: What is that?
Father: The warning bell…We are under attack!
(Simon rush to the door and was shocked by what he saw outside.)
(Many demons invaded the village. They killed and ate the villagers that Simon once knows.)
Father: (Show up with Mother) Simon, grab the bags. We should go hide in the mountain.
Simon: Linda…
Father: What?
Simon: Those monsters are coming from the direction of Linda’s house!
(Simon rushed out his house, ignoring his Father’s yelling.)
(Uncountable demons ran freely in the village, killing and eating the villagers. But for some unknown reason, they seem scared of Simon and tried to stay away from him.)
(Simon saw Linda from afar. She was captured by a giant bat and was taken away.)
Simon: Linda!
(Linda’s Father jumped and grab his daughter on her legs.)
Linda’s Father: Leave my daughter alone!
(Another giant bat fry by and land on his back, then bit him on his neck.)
(Linda’s Father let go of Linda.)
Linda: Daddy!
Simon: Linda!
(Simon swings his whip and hit both giant bats. The giant bats turned into dust and Simon grabbed Linda while she fell.)
Simon: Gotcha!
Linda: Daddy! How’s my Daddy!
(Simon and Linda went to check up Linda’s Father. His wound was fatal.)
Linda’s Father: Sorry girl…I couldn’t protect you.
Linda: No! Daddy NO!
Linda’s Father: (Turned to Simon) You bastard…Protect my daughter.
Simon: That will be my mission.
(Linda’s Father die.)
Linda: (Cry out in pain) NOOOOOO! Daddy! Daddyiiiiiii! No…NO!
(Simon hold Linda to ease her pain, while hear a scream from behind!)
Simon’s mother: Simon! RUN! Your father is…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(A hand of a beast pierced her heart from behind. A huge werewolf showed when Simon’s Mother fell dead on the ground.)
Simon: MOTHER!!! NO! Mother!
Werewolf: All blood of Belmont must not survive to see the dawn. This Belmont should meet the same fate of the other one.
Simon: GODDAMN YOU MONSTER!!!
(Simon battled Werewolf with his whip. Werewolf was defeated and injured.)
Werewolf: You are much powerful…But no matter. What we need is at hand. You shall not stand in the way of our Master.
(Werewolf took all the demons and left the village, leaving a destroyed village and uncountable corpses.)



I am...still...working on it...(cough blood and pass out)

Honestly, I am not sure where to start.
There are some serious grammar issues, ranging from wrong plurality and tenses to using nouns as verbs.
Some of the sentences need to be rewritten completely, while some seem like they were written properly by accident (as they don't fit your writing style).

What's your native language?

I'm conflicted here. On the one hand, you're so passionate about Castlevania that you've decided to write a story about it, which is good. On the other hand, the story is...not good. English not being your primary language is definitely a major issue, but even after going through and correcting some serious errors in a word document, the dialogue is still pretty bad.

Yeah, work on your grammar, starting from the basics. Getting a tutor would be a good idea.
Once you get a better grasp on how the language works, increase your exposure to English entertainment media and chat on English forums in order to improve your vocabulary.

There aren't any shortcuts for getting better, unfortunately.

Oh that movie is still happening? I heard about it many years ago, before OoE was out even, no joke.

Act 11: A thin ray of hope
(Simon running down a Mable Hallway. Sweat spray on every step he took. His hair was completely wet by sweat, and his armor was heavily soaked.)
Simon: Linda! Where are you? Answer me. Linda!! Linda!!!
(Simon fought many demons that attacked him. They all turned into dust.)
(Simon put his hand against the wall and started crying.)
Simon: Linda…No, not you…Linda…I am sorry…Where are you…
(Simon sat against the wall, put his head between his knees and hold it with his both hands.)
Simon: Linda…Where are you? Linda…
(Many demons approached and surrounded Simon, attempted to attack him.)
(Simon did not stood up and battle. He appeared to give up fighting.)
(A figure of a beast went by. All the demons were defeated and turned into dust.)
(All the sudden White Wolf was standing in front of Simon.)
White Wolf: Woof!
(Simon looked at White Wolf as if he suddenly found a ray of hope.)
Simon: Do you know where she is?
(White Wolf looked at the tallest Tower afar.)
Simon: (Climb on White Wolf’s back.) Take me to her!
(White Wolf started running in an incredible speed, crushing all the demons along its way.)
(White Wolf ran on to the castle wall alongside the Tower.)
White Wolf: Woof!
Simon: Don’t worry, I can do this!
(White Wolf jumped an unbelievable height and jumped over the Tower.)
(Simon jumped down from White Wolf’s back and broke through the Tower roof.)
(Simon landed in the center of the Throne Room.)
 
Act 12: Dracula
(Dracula was standing at his throne with Linda in his hands.)
Simon: Linda! No!
Dracula: Stupid Belmont. You are too late.
(Dracula throw Linda to Simon.)
(Simon caught Linda and check on her. Then painfully realized her face was ghostly white and the bite mark on her neck.)
Simon: (Started crying) No…Linda, no…not this…
Dracula: (Evil laugh) Now you understand my pain for losing my Treasure on you!
(Simon put Linda at the side of the room, allowed her to sit against the wall.)
Simon: What kind of monster are you? How can you do this to someone that not even a part of this!
Dracula: Your ancestor started this. Belmont. Your clan is in my debt after you took my one and only Treasure. Now, I took yours, this is a debt that finally settled.
Simon: Enough with this! What is the Treasure that so important to you? What IS he!?
(Dracula went into silent and seem to be drawing in his memories.)
Dracula: He is the only thing that I love the most. I would give up everything, anything for him. I trained him, in hope that one day, he would lead my armies to purify this world alongside with me. (Turned into extreme anger) But he, Treavor Belmont, showed up playing his Warrior of Light character. He crushed my castle, killed my servants, stole my relics. And when he came to facing that boy, that hateful Belmont temped him with empty words of justice and kindliness. He persuaded him to turn his sword toward me. He stole MY ONLY SON!!!
Simon: What!? You have a son?
Dracula: That foolish boy…He asked me to stop my plan in remaking this world. He asked me to live in peace with him. How can I ever live in peace when I recall you human executed my wife as a witch every time I close my eyes!
Simon: What the…Oh no…
Dracula: This is a debt that can never get paid. This is the war that can never end! My sorrow and hatred knows no end. My revenge will never stop. Not until I rid you human from this earth!
Simon: And for this you turn to someone that has absolutely nothing to do with this? I understand now. You son left you because he knows well of what you did! He did not want to increase any of your sin!
Dracula: Silent! Don’t you talk like you know everything!
Simon: I do not know everything, but what about your son? He asked you to live in peace with him because he knew that hatred will only create more hatred! He knows well that where this blood came from, and where it is running to! Can’t you see? You son tried to stop the war between you and human! He tried to find you peace!
Dracula: And how can I find peace when my bloody tears never stop? You ripped my heart open, and now you try to get away with it? No Belmont, it is not going to happen. Not until the last drop of your blood spilled and evaporated on earth!
(Simon battled Dracula. Dracula was defeated, but Simon was badly injured.)
Dracula: I will not…forgive…I will always come back…for my vengeance…
Simon: Come back whenever you want. Even if I am not able to fight, my descendants will take this whip.
Dracula: Belmont…Ahh Belmont…you always follow the duty of your bloodline…I jealous you.
Simon: You shouldn’t. Your son left you because his love for you. You can find peace as long as you let go of this hatred, but you refused to do so. I believe that at the day you gave up your vengeance, you son will come back to you.
Dracula: I cannot. How can I…How should I…Lisa…
(Dracula disappear in a cloud of dark mist.)
 
Act 13: Out of the castle
(Simon went back to Linda. He kneeled beside her and started crying.)
Simon: Linda…Sorry I could not protect you…
(Simon noticed when White Wolf approached. He looked at White Wolf helplessly.)
(White Wolf came close to Linda and used his nose to touch her neck.)
Simon: What?
(Simon search in Linda’s clothes and found the rosary he gave her. The rosary was quietly glowing.)
(Simon was supplized and checked on her pulse and breath. He found her still breathing, and still had weak heartbeat.)
Simon: She is still alive! (Turned to White Wolf.) What should I do?
(White Wolf looked at the bloody wound on his arm.)
Simon: My blood?
White Wolf: Woof!
(Simon hurried and dropped his blood into Linda’s mouth. Then he smeared his blood on Linda’s bite wound.)
(A cloud of dark mist came out from Linda’s mouth and bite wound. After the dark cloud disappeared, Linda’s face came back to life. Linda’s bite wound healed by itself.)
Simon: Linda, Oh my God! (Held Linda within his arms.) Linda…Linda…
(Linda slowly opened her eyes. First she looked around with panic, then she realized Simon was sitting beside her.)
(Linda started crying.)
Linda: Simon…it’s you…where…where am I?
Simon: You are in Dracula’s castle, but don’t worry. Dracula is defeated, I am here for you.
Linda: Simon. I believed in you. When they captured me, I know you will come for me.
(They held each other tight for a while.)
(The castle started crumbling.)
Linda: What is happening?
Simon: It seems the castle is collapsing down. We got to go!
White Wolf: Woof!
(White Wolf stood in a position that looked like it is ready to run.)
Linda: What is it?
Simon: Most likely an ally. It helped me, and now it seems it wants to help us.
(Simon put Linda on White Wolf’s back, then he climbed on it, holding Linda in his arm and held on to White Wolf’s furs.)
(White Wolf howl to the sky, then it started running again in an amazing speed.)
(White Wolf ran through many corridors and hallways, avoided all the fallen rubbles and glasses.)
(White Wolf rushed through the Castle Gate and climbed on a nearby hill. It stood on its side, allowed Simon and Linda watched the castle collapsed completely.)
(Linda turned her face to Simon’s shoulder.)
(Simon grab on White Wolf’s furs.)
(White Wolf turned its back to the castle and started running.)
Linda: Where are we going?
Simon: We are going home.
(White Wolf carried them through fields, forests, rivers and mountains, all the way back to their small village.)
(White Wolf slowed down when they saw the village entrance.)
(Villagers soon noticed Simon’s return.)
(When White Wolf arrived at the village, Priest John was waiting with all other villagers.)
Priest John: Lord Simon! We are so glad that you are back! When those demons captured Lady Linda, we feared the worst.
Simon: That’s all over now.
Priest John: Yes, we can tell, for no demons ever attack again. Lord Simon, you truly are a hero!
Simon: But I was not fight alone. I have an ally. (Looked around for White Wolf, but White Wolf was not in sight.) Where did it go?
(All the villagers helped at looking for White Wolf, but the search failed.)
Priest John: Lord Simon. It got to be the guide of God, who was sent to assist you.
Simon: I guess so. (Hug Linda on her shoulder.) It was its help that I could save you.
(Simon and Linda kiss, all the villagers applaud)
 
Act 14: Ending
(A party was set for Simon and Linda’s wedding. The two swear and kiss in front of Bishop and all the villagers.)
(A banquet held in the evening. Food and drinks were served, just like the night of the Coming-of-Age ritual. Except Simon and Linda are the main focuses now.)
(The couple dance on the field in front of the church, while other villagers talked about Simon’s hero story.)
(White Wolf stood on a mountain hill, watching the wedding banquet from afar.)
(White Wolf then transformed into a silhouette of long silver hair and back cape.)
(The silhouette then turned into a cloud of bats and disappeared.)



I am done~~~Yay~~~~