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Post by saberwolf94 on Jun 17, 2017 15:39:04 GMT -6
Of course am gonna discuss this with close friends of mine too but let's see what other IGAvania fans think.
So I work in a supermarket and every now and then there's this promotion girl that comes sometimes promoting products from various departments. Every time we see each other we just say hi or good morning usually both with a smile. Am not a cashier but my post is mostly there and because of the circumstances there's not really a good chance to approach her with a good window but I managed to get the chance today and I took it.
I went to her asked her name, gave her mine and shaked hands. I told her that while I didn't know her her face was familiar to me and asked her if she went to X high school that I went with as well. She told me yes and then I told her she is pretty, she said thank you and then I said I'd like to get know her. Before I could say anything more she just started walking away and no she wasn't blushing or being shy am pretty sure I creeped her out. I didn't go red or get nervous but I think I was pretty boring so am sure it's my fault.
I wish she just said "am not interested" or something along those lines I would have just said pleasure and walked away. But anyway what do you guys think?
And how should I treat her from now on when I see her? Should I ignore her from now on? Just say hi or goodmorning and pretend like nothing happened? I defintely won't go to her and say sorry for creeping you out because not only will it creep her out more it would make me look like a fool too. Thanks guys.
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gunlord500
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Post by gunlord500 on Jun 17, 2017 19:03:17 GMT -6
Of course am gonna discuss this with close friends of mine too but let's see what other IGAvania fans think. So I work in a supermarket and every now and then there's this promotion girl that comes sometimes promoting products from various departments. Every time we see each other we just say hi or good morning usually both with a smile. Am not a cashier but my post is mostly there and because of the circumstances there's not really a good chance to approach her with a good window but I managed to get the chance today and I took it. I went to her asked her name, gave her mine and shaked hands. I told her that while I didn't know her her face was familiar to me and asked her if she went to X high school that I went with as well. She told me yes and then I told her she is pretty, she said thank you and then I said I'd like to get know her. Before I could say anything more she just started walking away and no she wasn't blushing or being shy am pretty sure I creeped her out. I didn't go red or get nervous but I think I was pretty boring so am sure it's my fault. I wish she just said "am not interested" or something along those lines I would have just said pleasure and walked away. But anyway what do you guys think? And how should I treat her from now on when I see her? Should I ignore her from now on? Just say hi or goodmorning and pretend like nothing happened? I defintely won't go to her and say sorry for creeping you out because not only will it creep her out more it would make me look like a fool too. Thanks guys. Hmm. I think that could have gone better, but it also could have gone a lot worse--believe me, I've seen crashes and burns, and a girl just walking away politely is definitely not such a catastrophe  She might've been a little creeped out, but if you act chill and normal the next few times you see her she should forget about it eventually. Just be polite but distant (hi and goodmorning are good) and things should simmer down sooner or later. I definitely wouldn't try to flirt with her again, though. |
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XombieMike
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Post by XombieMike on Jun 17, 2017 19:55:06 GMT -6
I don't think you were too direct. You were honest. Next time you see her, just be polite and if you have an easy opportunity, apologize if you are her feel uncomfortable. If she shows no interest, don't bother wasting another thought on her and move on.
You will find someone that you click with eventually. Just be yourself.
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Post by saberwolf94 on Jun 18, 2017 3:01:55 GMT -6
Thanks guys that's what I thought of doing too. Not really approaching her but acknowledging her when I see her. It's fine if she's not interested it's the no response walk away that got me, I don't think that was polite at all.
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purifyweirdshard
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Post by purifyweirdshard on Jun 19, 2017 8:11:38 GMT -6
It was rude, sounds to me, if I'm reading the situation right from what you said...but I don't think there were many other options for her in this case. I agree with gunlord, there are worse outcomes. This seems like a clear "no thanks", and from her side I can partly see why she would react that way - a truly correct/polite way to decline what you said would be hard to come up with on the spot. "I'd like to get to know you better" sounds casual enough, but everyone usually knows exactly what it means, and saying a "I'm not interested/no thanks" makes the person responding sound like an ass either way. If you feel like asking is necessary, I would suggest something like a "would you like to go do x?" instead for next time, because that is a question with a clear yes/no answer that doesn't seem as assertive or have stronger emotions attached to it. I think that's preferable to even saying "would you like to go out sometime" because a "no" there is almost just as rough to say and hear.
Ideally, you would talk to and get to know her more before much else happens naturally without having to outright say/ask that. The conversation about high school could have lead to other things, and then building on that after a while. If that happens, and the girl puts forth any effort at all toward it, then you might be good to go. You may have just taken a shortcut to see if she was interested in you surface level, and it looks like she's not.
(I advise all of this based on observance of such things only, I have almost no experience personally lol)
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2017 9:43:08 GMT -6
No no, that won't do... People nowadays can't handle honesty and straightforward approach. You have to use cunning and subterfuge, at any given time; conceal your true aim and go about in roundabout ways, ideally with a ruse, or by pretending for going after something else initially (example, friendship). Relationships of all types and approaching other people out there, has become an exceptionally difficult ordeal nowadays, as opposed to few decades ago, when it was much more "normal" and expected. We live in the age of smartphones and internet dating, technology's tyranny over people('s lives) and excessive distrust! People prefer staying alone and single for years in a row, instead of simply trying to allow someone else approach them, out of the blue. Especially girls, HATE strangers and "unknown entities", no-ones coming out of nowhere and stuff... Almost always they meet someone out of a fellowership of people who hang out together, work together, or share hobbies and similar activities/interests. Your place and timing was also bad; lots of people avoid complicated situations, inside their workplace, especially during working time.
I wish i could help, but my experiences are very similar, alas, i am afraid.
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Post by purifyweirdshard on Jun 19, 2017 10:03:01 GMT -6
 well then I suppose a nasty spear head attached to a rope could be useful, too. After the girl had walked away, saberwolf could have said "GET OVER HERE!!" and uppercut her into the freezer section. Over the PA system: "excellent" |
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Post by XombieMike on Jun 19, 2017 10:13:46 GMT -6
My favorite pick up line is, "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
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Post by saberwolf94 on Jun 19, 2017 17:04:17 GMT -6
It was rude, sounds to me, if I'm reading the situation right from what you said...but I don't think there were many other options for her in this case. I agree with gunlord, there are worse outcomes. This seems like a clear "no thanks", and from her side I can partly see why she would react that way - a truly correct/polite way to decline what you said would be hard to come up with on the spot. "I'd like to get to know you better" sounds casual enough, but everyone usually knows exactly what it means, and saying a "I'm not interested/no thanks" makes the person responding sound like an ass either way. If you feel like asking is necessary, I would suggest something like a "would you like to go do x?" instead for next time, because that is a question with a clear yes/no answer that doesn't seem as assertive or have stronger emotions attached to it. I think that's preferable to even saying "would you like to go out sometime" because a "no" there is almost just as rough to say and hear. Ideally, you would talk to and get to know her more before much else happens naturally without having to outright say/ask that. The conversation about high school could have lead to other things, and then building on that after a while. If that happens, and the girl puts forth any effort at all toward it, then you might be good to go. You may have just taken a shortcut to see if she was interested in you surface level, and it looks like she's not. (I advise all of this based on observance of such things only, I have almost no experience personally lol) I was indeed about to ask what she's up to tomorrow to go out for coffee etc. but I literally finished my sentence and she started walking away. I know what you mean about chatting her up a bit more before going for the kill but you have to understand my window was pretty limited (not hers) I couldn't really beat around the bush. I was on break, she didn't have any customers around her and other people working on that floor weren't very close. She's been coming to the shop for months and just now the right opportunity presented itself for me to approach. |
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Post by saberwolf94 on Jun 19, 2017 17:14:00 GMT -6
No no, that won't do... People nowadays can't handle honesty and straightforward approach. You have to use cunning and subterfuge, at any given time; conceal your true aim and go about in roundabout ways, ideally with a ruse, or by pretending for going after something else initially (example, friendship). Relationships of all types and approaching other people out there, has become an exceptionally difficult ordeal nowadays, as opposed to few decades ago, when it was much more "normal" and expected. We live in the age of smartphones and internet dating, technology's tyranny over people('s lives) and excessive distrust! People prefer staying alone and single for years in a row, instead of simply trying to allow someone else approach them, out of the blue. Especially girls, HATE strangers and "unknown entities", no-ones coming out of nowhere and stuff... Almost always they meet someone out of a fellowership of people who hang out together, work together, or share hobbies and similar activities/interests. Your place and timing was also bad; lots of people avoid complicated situations, inside their workplace, especially during working time. I wish i could help, but my experiences are very similar, alas, i am afraid. While I get some stuff you're saying I can't say I fully agree with some stuff you're saying. While sometimes becoming freinds with a girl does lead to dating it doesn't always work and it depends from person to person. Girls appreciate guys that have the balls to approach as long as you do it right and going about things in roundabout ways can also make them lose interest. I think time is what killed me on this one I couldn't spark her interest. |
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Post by saberwolf94 on Jun 19, 2017 17:15:27 GMT -6
My favorite pick up line is, "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Sorry if am lame but I don't get the line. Does it actually work though? |
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Post by Zechs on Jun 19, 2017 17:26:45 GMT -6
When applied to something that restricts airflow chloroform will cause a person to pass out. It's a measure for obduction.
Which is where the joke was heading subtly.
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Post by XombieMike on Jun 19, 2017 17:32:58 GMT -6
saberwolf94 you are probably just unfamiliar with what chloroform is. This will catch you up to speed. (Viewer discretion is advised.)
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Post by saberwolf94 on Jun 19, 2017 17:33:56 GMT -6
When applied to something that restricts airflow chloroform will cause a person to pass out. It's a measure for obduction. Which is where the joke was heading subtly. Man I think even if you'd be serious to use it most people wouldn't get it, for airheads it's a guarantee. For me English isn't exactly my first language so I didn't really bother desiphering it but it's one of the more sophisticated ones I've heard. |
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Post by saberwolf94 on Jun 19, 2017 17:38:15 GMT -6
saberwolf94 you are probably just unfamiliar with what chloroform is. This will catch you up to speed. (Viewer discretion is advised.) I actually thought the add was real in the very early beginning  |
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Post by ghaleon on Jun 19, 2017 20:35:07 GMT -6
I don't think you did anything awful but these days I think you need to be slower at the start. Kinda like some people say wait for the 3rd date before your first kiss, other people say wait for the 3rd date before sex, all these weird rules people pull out of their %@#%@. That said I kinda think you should not do the invite to date (get to know you is pretty equivalent imo), on the first intentional conversation. Saying she's pretty is pretty direct for people these days too, you gotta be indirect about it first time around. Like: I like your hairstyle! Or, I like how you dress (complimenting an individual article of clothing like shoes or something may be a bit too 'girly' and/or seem insincere. Then maybe NEXT time if she does something like change her hairstyle, THEN you can up the ante with 'hey looking good!, after which I'd drop the go out bomb on a yet separate encounter.
Though if she seems eager to speed the process up, you should do so cuz then you wont look confident and that's a turn-off for many girls looking for a date.
Not that I'm a pickup artist or anything. I just think it's good to try and be on the middle ground with how 'fast' you approach matters.
Also, I wouldn't give up on her outright, maybe she did that just to play mind games and see how you can handle rejection. Don't ask her out again next time, but I would maybe compliment a style change again if you notice one, just don't go for a combo again =P.
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Cernex
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Post by Cernex on Jun 22, 2017 3:06:17 GMT -6
Not what I would've done. While I don't think you were rude, I do think you were a bit too... "direct." I think you missed some small chit-chat at first and jumped too fast at the "you're pretty" line... Having said that, this is far from being a "terrible" crash and burn. I once saw a guy trying to start a conversation with a booger joke, I kid you not. XombieMike is right, tho'. Apologize if you were too direct if you see her again, and if she responds possitively, try some small talk. If she shows no interest, eh, move on. Worse to try and fail than never try, as they say. |
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She might've been a little creeped out, but if you act chill and normal the next few times you see her she should forget about it eventually. Just be polite but distant (hi and goodmorning are good) and things should simmer down sooner or later. I definitely wouldn't try to flirt with her again, though.
well then
yey